He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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