Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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