someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize