just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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