What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
