Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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