Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm both gender and math confused
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
