physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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