kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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