Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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