Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize