The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
