yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
