they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
