was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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