let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
