And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When are your genitals available?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
