I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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