she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
