I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
