trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
