So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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