His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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