To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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