You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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