Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
