I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize