Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
