Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
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