rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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