I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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