you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize