If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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