I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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