I want to have your abortion
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
