dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
