So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize