are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
