It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
