Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize