Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
