Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
