im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize