Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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