I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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