have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
