Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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