Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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