I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You took a bar mat shot.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
