All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
