i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Damn victory sex feels great
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
