A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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