Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
