Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
