i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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