God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
