is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
