So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
do nipples grow back?
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