I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
