spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
