my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
