and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
either way he was missing a nipple.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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