I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
