I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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